Thank You

When I started Amanda and Me, I sub-titled it Amanda "Braveheart" Warnock Cross - from her dad's point of view. She was still alive and we still had hope that she would recover. People were engaged with the blog from the very beginning. We all know she didn't make it, but she fought until the end. People continued to be engaged with the blog. We've shared stories of Amanda from other contributors and hope to share more. We want to say a sincere THANK YOU to all who've read, commented, shared and contributed. Your care for Amanda while alive and your memories now have been extremely comforting to her sisters, her mother and me.

It has almost been a month since she went to be with Jesus, and her loved ones are still grieving. Her mother, her sister's and I know without a doubt where she is and that she is happy. While she was far from perfect while in this life (as none of us are) she is closer now to perfection than ever and we know she will be made perfect in the Resurrection. Having said these things, I would still ask that you would continue to pray for those who still grieve her absence...

• Please continue to lift Cody in your prayers. He is still having a very hard time and needs your prayers for him in the present. Please pray that his decisions will honor Amanda's memory. Please pray for his future. Pray that it will be good. Pray that he will find love again. He's far too young to live life alone. He turned 22 just two days before the funeral. In Genesis 2:18 we read...The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." NIV. We know that Amanda, in her current state, would not want Cody to live his entire life without someone to love and marry and give Gina those grandbabies that would have literally killed Amanda to have. Please pray for a bright future for Cody.
• Please pray for Amanda's sisters Rachel and Jessica. They are VERY strong women, just like Amanda and their mother. Still, they loved her, they miss her and they need the comfort that only God can give them. Jessica was Amanda's closest confidant and friend. She and Amanda would talk for hours on the phone and tell each other things that they could only share with each other. Jessica knows more about who Amanda really was than anybody. Jessica's feelings at this time seem to be the most neglected or shall we say, taken for granted. As her twin, her bond is different than any of ours and she needs to be lifted up by our prayers. She is an excellent wife, an amazing mother, a loving daughter and a big part of her has gone ahead to Heaven. She really misses Amanda and while the rest of us were consoled and comforted by many people, she and her relationship have been the least understood. We need your prayers for her. Drop her a message on Facebook too, to let her know you care.
• Please continue to pray for Veronica. She worked so hard to care for Amanda for the best part of 22 years and worried while she was so far away, alone, in the cold ugly Seattle winter. Veronica really misses Amanda
• Pray for Cody's mom and dad. Guide them to guide him and his future, They are very close to Cody and love him very much.
• I want to thank you for your prayers, kind words and consideration. Thank you for loving my little girl and the rest of the Warnocks. While no man is an island, and I still need your prayers, I know that my Redeemer Lives and that Amanda is in His loving arms and that all things work together for good for those who love God. Amanda's death has brought out strength and courage that I did not know was there. I fear no evil, and will confront it when I see it. I think Amanda believed that strength was always there, though. It seemed like she read most people fairly well. When you pray for us, you are honoring Amanda, so again, thank you.

I will continue this blog until no one reads it any more. That is currently not a problem. We have had well over 8000 page views so far. I hope to feature stories about other CFers, and hope to use this blog to garner more donations for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundtion as they fight for a cure. Thank you to all who have donated as an outcome of Amanda going home. For those of you who mentioned Amanda while making your donation, we receive a letter from CFF and it warms our hearts to see your support for our cause. While we all grieve differently, this blog has been part of my therapy and recovery and I thank you for that. So it's good bye... until the next post. Again, thank you and may God bless each of you

Preparations...

I will not be posting for the next few days as we prepare for Amanda's memorial service. I will  resume my tribute to her life as soon as possible. It is my hope that others will be able to guest post and / or share their memories of Amanda. I would LOVE to feature those memories here.

If you have a memory of Amanda or tribute you'd like to share, please email me at jimdwarnock@gmail.com . I will copy and paste your email verbatim on this blog, so if you have typos or misspelled words, they will not be corrected. I want everything to be as real as your memories are.

Thank you so much for being Amanda's friends.

Amanda loved JROTC...

Amanda loved life and all it had to bring. She refused to let Cystic Fibrosis stand in her way. One of her favorite pursuits was the Marine Corps Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps at Jack C. Hays the high school she graduated from in 2008. She loved it so much that she participated for all four years of high school. She excelled in rank and performance to be one of the top officers in the command by her senior year. Amanda may have become a Marine had they allowed CF'ers to be in the Corps.

Veronica, Amanda's mom, would always travel with the company when they went on competition trips and other trips. Veronica wanted to be close at hand, in case Amanda needed her. Veronica loves Amanda so much. So if it meant staying in a crappy hotel, putting up with rowdy teens, eating bad food and getting stung by wasps to the point that her eye was swollen shut, Veronica was always there. It was worth every minute to her.

Amanda was such an amazing marksman (as skill I'd like to believe she learned from shooting old Barbies with our crappy little BB gun back on the homestead). Amanda could be running a fever that would devastate most of us and still whip the pants of any of the boys when it came to marksman competition. She was also on the color guard and commanded it for a time.

We looked forward to the Marine Corps Ball each year. That was a big night out for the three of us. The boys would line up to dance with our angel. You could say she was the bell of the ball.

We were so happy that she chose JROTC. She met some of the best friends of her life because of her involvement in the program. She surrounded herself with some of the best and brightest young men and young women we'd ever met. Her friends were of such a high level of character and integrity, and we feel blessed by their friendship with our girl. The adult leadership of the company were some of the finest men we've ever known and we are thankful to them for the love and care that they extended to Amanda. Thank you Major Hamil and Gunny Magare. Fair winds and following seas. We thank God for you.

The picture above was taken by Gunny Magare, who was a dear friend and gave Amanda a guiding light and hope during a dark time in her life. A true leader and a true friend. He captured her in her element. That smile is what everyone would see when they saw Amanda. What a fitting tribute to who she is.

Please help us fight Cystic Fibrosis by donating to The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Just follow the link below...
http://www.cff.org/GetInvolved/ManyWaysToGive/MakeADonation/

Amanda's Memorial Service

Amanda Elizabeth (Warnock) Cross (1990-2012) Age 22 of Buda, TX, went home to be with her beloved Saviour on Thursday March 29, 2012 after an extended hospitalization at the University of Washington Medical Center in Seattle, WA. Amanda succumbed to a lung infection after a noble lifelong battle with Cystic Fibrosis.

 Amanda was born at Brackenridge Hospital in Austin, TX on February 18, 1990 and grew up in Kyle and Buda, TX. She is the daughter of James and Veronica Warnock of Buda, TX. She leaves behind her husband Cody Cross of Kyle, TX, whom she married at Ruby Ranch Lodge in Buda on July 26, 2009. Cody is in the U.S.Navy and stationed in Bremerton, WA. Please hold him up in your thoughts and prayers.

Amanda attended Tom Green Elementary, Wallace Middle School, Barton Middle School and graduated from Jack C. Hays High School with the class of 2008. She was a four year cadet in the JROTC program there. She was a wedding photographer and videographer and produced her first music video in 2011. 

Amanda was a vivacious young woman with an adventurous spirit and a caring heart. Although she was very ill at times, she always put others first. She possesed a beautiful smile and touched everyone she met. Amanda loved animals and water activities and sunshine. Most people that knew Amanda found it hard to believe that she suffered an illness and Amanda never used her illness as a crutch, and refused to let it stop her from doing anything she wanted to do.

 Amanda is survived by her sisters Rachel Nelson of Elgin, TX and Jessica Ebell of Kyle, TX as well as her parents and husband.

 Memorial service will be held on Thursday April 5, 2012 at First Baptist Church of Buda, TX, 104 S. San Marcos St., Buda, TX 78610 (512) 295-2161 at 2:00 PM, with burial at Live Oak Cemetary on Twin Creeks Rd in Manchaca, TX. following the service.

 In lieu of flowers, it is the express wish of the family that you would join them in the fight against Cystic Fibrosis by making a monetary donation online at... http://www.cff.org/GetInvolved/ManyWaysToGive/MakeADonation/

Going home...

Today we go home. It is such a bittersweet return. As we were seated on the plane, Nightengale by Norah Jones played over the PA system. We all cried as we thought of our Amanda. She loves Norah Jones. She asked us to play Norah's music the last few days she was on earth. We played it for her over and over. It was hard to listen to today. We will go home now and busy ourselves in preparation for the funeral. Relatives and friends from all over will be flying to our little town to attend. Sort of a Big Chill Texas style. We wish Amanda could be there in person. We know she'll be watching from a far. And she'll be smiling in approval. The service will be held at the little country church where she was baptised so many years ago. So many people loved Amanda. I just hope the church can hold them all. Amanda, I know you know this, but we really miss you.

Rest in peace, my sweet daughter

Amanda died this morning shortly after 3 AM, as her beautiful mother cradled her head in her arms. She's in heaven today, doing all the things that CF kept her from doing. Glory be to God for such an amazing honor to have been her father, friend and brother in Christ. Though you're far away, we'll see you again someday. One of these days...

I love Amanda

Today has been really hard. It's just about the end for Amanda. If God doesn't bring forth a miracle, Amanda will probably die tonight.

Where does one begin to express feelings so deep and so raw. Cystic Fibrosis is an evil disease from the very pit of hell and it is robbing me of one of my greatest treasures. I am sick to my stomach right now.
Amanda is not processing CO2 properly and will soon stop breathing. Putting her on a respirator will not save her once her lungs fail. Her health fell so fast. In one short month she went from around 60% lung capacity, which is good for a young woman with CF at her age, to almost nothing. What a waste of such a wonderful person.

I gave Amanda to God when she was a baby. Soon He'll come calling for her. I'd like to take her back, but that's not possible. It also looks like there's no miracle that will save her. It's amazing that we are in one of the alleged best places in the country for CF'ers and they are powerless to heal her. Ladies and gentlemen, doctors are men, not gods like many of them think they are. One day, they'll be in the same predicament as my sweet Amanda. Maybe then they will bow to the true God and give up their empty headed ideas of who they are. Until then, we are stuck with powerless technicians known as doctors. God holds all the real power.

My beautiful wife has been here for almost two weeks, fighting this battle to the point of shear exhaustion. The same for Amanda's husband Cody. He has been such a loving son in law and husband to my sweet girl. Oh my dear Lord, I feel so bad for him. I will always love him for who he is and how he loved our little girl. I will pray for him the rest of my life that he will find clarity through this and find love. Amanda would want that.

I know when Amanda dies that she will be with Jesus. The Bible promises that for believers. It gives me comfort to know that I will see her again. She'll be happy and free of any illness. What a promise we all have in Him. It still doesn't soften the blow right now.

I have had so many memories made by Amanda. I love all my girls so much, but this poor baby got short changed. I had hoped for a cure, hoped for many more years with her, playing cards and drinking beer while she drank the occasional shot of whiskey. She could always drink me under the table. She had an amazingly strong liver. Her heart was stronger than strong too. I really think her other organs were SUPER organs and made up for her weekend lungs. She was a pistol, right to the end. I don't think you can drink in heaven, but if you could, she would and be one of the best at.

This past summer, while Cody was deployed in the Persian Gulf, she came to stay with us. I wouldn't trade those days for all the gold in the world. Besides, gold is just pavement where she's going. The things that really matter whether here or there are relationships, and we had a great one. Amanda always told Veronica and me that next to her twin and her husband, we were her best friends. That's one hell of a complement. We shot weddings together, went camping the week school started and had two whole state parks completely to ourselves. Amanda reconnected with old friends from high school days and even shot her first solely self produced music video. She wanted to be a videographer and was planning on leaving after a few weeks to go to a video school in Seattle. I even co-signed the loan. I could never tell Amanda no. She found out the real cost of the school and decided it wasn't worth the cost and ended up staying with us until the first of December. I and everyone that knows her was happy that she stayed. Time with Amanda was always precious and that time, more than almost any. I'll miss one my best friends dearly.

When Amanda got back to Washington to set up their new townhouse for her and Cody, she did it in style. Texas style. That girl LOVED Texas and would defend her state against any foe. In Texas we have a saying, "Don't mess with Texas". I think it should have been, "Don't mess with Texas or Amanda will mess you up". Amanda created a beautiful home for Cody and her. She never really got to enjoy it.

In high school, Amanda was a marksman on the rifle team. Veronica would always travel with her on the ROTC trips to make sure Amanda was OK. Amanda would always out shoot everyone. Even while sick at times. Had she not had CF, she might have become a Marine. Oorah! We would also go to the Marine Corp Ball every year. It was a big night out for us.

Amanda was instrumental in providing me the encouragement I needed to start my own appliance repair service. She and Veronica talked me into it while playing Rummy and I'm glad she lived to see it come to fruition. Amanda loved rummy. She was great at it and usually won. Amanda loved to win. Why shouldn't she, she was a winner. She beat us all again. First one to heaven. That may have been her plan all along.

Amanda was great with animals. She used to ride her cows and pigs and tie dolls on a boar's back with a rope. The rest of us could hardly touch them. Amada could lay down and take a nap with them. When she was eleven, Veronica let her get a inside dog. Her name was Kandy, because she looked like cotton candy. She loves that dog and that dog loves her. I wonder how it will effect Kandy when Amanda leaves us.

There is so much more I'd love to share about Amanda. I am just hurting too bad right now to say anymore. I am going to include her music video here at the end, so you can see how talented she was. Amanda was an artist, photographer, videographer, daughter, wife, twin, best friend, and so much more. I wish those of you who never met her could have. You'd have been honored.

Amanda is my daughter...

I have three beautiful daughters. They are all amazing young women. I'll introduce them later. This blog is about one of my daughters in particular. Her name is Amanda, and she has Cystic Fibrosis. We found out when she was four months old. The year was 1990. That day was one of the darkest days of my life. All I knew about CF was what I'd seen on the old Public Service commercials on TV back in the 1960's. Back then, kids with CF did not live very long. About 8 years. My heart sunk when I learned the diagnosis. After some counseling, we learned that the life expectancy was 21 years. Better than 8, but not enough. Amanda is 22 years old now. She has graduated high school and married a wonderful young man named Cody,who loves her deeply and joined the US Navy in order to provide health insurance for her.

I am writing this post from a hospital room in Seattle. This has been Amanda's worse downturn ever. We are hoping for the best and doing all we can to aid her healing. Prayer is a large part of our effort, and social media reports to friends and family have garnered such a multitude of prayer beyond anything we've ever experienced. We are so thankful. Even at that, Amanda is very ill and closer to death than she has ever been. We hope she'll recover.

This blog is about the times I've had with my little girl Amanda, as she grew into the amazing women that she is today. I plan on posting here often. I hope in some small way that this may help and/or inspire some other poor parent who's beloved child has CF. That is my wish.