It has been a year since we lost our beautiful daughter. We continue to miss Amanda so much. It is indescribable the loss we feel. We would never wish this on another parent. Yet we know we're not the only couple this has happened to.
So much has happened in the past year. We've lost touch with our former son in law Cody. Some of our family members are still in communication with him. We pray he continues to heal and prosper, truly finds Christ and is saved and learns to forgive.
We sold our house in Buda in July. We'd tried to sell it the year before, but the market conditions weren't right. This year was the year. We decided to live in our 29 foot long RV, but it quickly became too small. We still didn't / don't know where we want to live, so we traded in the Dutchmen for a 40 foot long luxury fifth wheel. It is both comfortable and beautiful. We call it our apartment on wheels. It has been absolutely wonderful to live in until we find the perfect house some time in the future. We're not even looking right now. We've been living in the San Marcos area, close to the San Marcos river since mid August and have made some wonderful friends for life, while having a great adventure.
We are all getting closer to the Lord almost daily. We know Amanda is responsible for this, considering that she is in Heaven with God and is very persistent. We know she's probably driving God crazy with her requests for us all. Paul and Jess are helping with their youth group at their church. We've been attending there too. The young preacher is very like minded with us and goes beyond the fluff and political correctness that I have always found repulsive in modern churches. This young man preaches the truth, which I enjoy and find refreshing. Jake and Rachel have found a church they like in Elgin and are growing in Christ there. We plan on attending their church this Sunday, to see for ourselves.
We are excited about this weekend, as we are planning a Christian Passover Seder for both families. There is so much of Christ in the Passover it is amazing. We did this when the girls were younger for two or three years in a row. It was always fun and educational. Besides, knowing that Easter is named after Ishtar and the paganistic practices came from Babylon (and the pit of Hell) made us interested in seeking the truth many years ago. No disgusting Easter eggs for our kids. We are looking forward to passing on the truths contained in the Passover to another generation so that they can know the truth too. We imagine Amanda is behind this desire to teach and seek the truth too.
We spent Thanksgiving (Amanda's favorite holiday) at Rachel's. Jessica and the kids came with us, but Paul had to work. We missed him being there, but it was a good time anyway.
We took off for three weeks over the holidays and went to Arizona, California and New Mexico to see family we haven't seen in awhile. It was fun and challenging at the same time. I spent my birthday with dear friends in New Mexico, but it was very hard as it fell on the nine month anniversary of Amanda's passing. It was all I could think off. I dread the 29th every month. February gave me a break.
Veronica still cries almost every day. She never used to cry. She misses Amanda so much. Being male, I would fix it, but I just can't. I've become a better listener than ever, allowing her to express her feelings. She is doing much better than a few months ago, but continue to pray for her.
My business has picked up, but I'm still not making any money and it is frustrating. I really don't like being in business for myself, but the freedom to take off when we want to has been a real perk. I pray for guidance concerning what to do as far as that goes. We've spent a lot of our savings in order to pay day to day expenses while trying to allow this business to grow, but I am a security freak who loves having a sizable cushion in the bank and fear losing it all while this business really doesn't grow beyond what it is right now. I'd be happier working for someone else, at the expense of our freedom, and let them eat all the costs. We really have needed the time over the past year to be with each other, take it easy and heal. For that I am thankful, and I know everything will happen the way it is supposed to in God's time.
The photography business just keeps plugging away. We shot a wedding last weekend and remembered how much we enjoy doing this together. God intended men and women to grow up, find each other and marry and raise a family and we are blessed to be a part of the process. We would love to own a venue one day when we're too old to shoot weddings and continue to be blessed. We miss our sidekick Amanda, who would go with us sometimes and shoot video (and a few stills). That was a good time.
Jake and I went out to Amanda's marker and permanently attached her boot to her marker. We had her favorite boots bronzed as a tribute to her. Jake was desperate to get this done before the year date. I have such great son's in law. Amanda and Jake had such a close bond and I was very greatful for his help and guidance (and awesome drill and generator).
It has really been too hard for me to keep up with this blog emotionally. I dearly miss my little girl. I know I will see her again, but it won't be soon enough. Veronica feels the same way. We thank all our friends and family members for how they have supported us over the past year. Losing a child hurts and takes a long time to heal. It is not an overnight process, and we still have a long way to go. Please continue to lift us and our family in prayer. We all miss Amanda very much.