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Saturday, September 29, 2012

We Continue To Miss Amanda

Today is the six month anniversary of Amanda's departure from Earth to Heaven. Accordingly, it is raining like it did for days when Veronica reluctantly drove an equally reluctant Amanda back to Washington from Texas last December. Amanda loved Texas and her family. Cody wanted her to "build a life for them" wherever they lived, so she went back to make him happy. She expressed her regrets about not staying until Cody's deployment ended in later conversations with us. We're sorry, too.

Amanda came to both of us last night in our dreams. Neither of us have really dreamed about her over these last few months, but her coming to us last night seems appropriate and bittersweet. As Veronica said, she is kissing us from heaven.

Much has happened with us since the last post and definitely in the last six months. We sold our house (finally). We'd tried to sell it summer of 2011, but it seemed the market wasn't strong enough and the competition was too great. This year was a better climate for selling. We moved out on July 13th.

Having sold our home, where would we live? We had no idea. We pulled a butt load of cash out of the house, but with both of us being self employed, getting a loan would be tough. We decided to live in the RV.

That worked for a little while, until it grew too small for us. We LOVE the RV lifestyle, so we bought an incredibly huge new fifth wheel and have chosen to do that for a few years, while we decide where God wants us to be.

We had a few fantastic camping trips with bunches of family in May, June and July. The June trip was to Lake Sommerville, where Veronica, Amanda and I had such a great time the year before. The park is a Mecca for cardinals, Amanda's sign to us to let us know she's watching over us. Mercy, Rick and boys joined us all for one of the big adventures. Izzy caught his first fish. It was awesome! Amanda would have loved to be there, and we know she was, really. Her absence from this planet has really worked to make us a closer knit family and helped us appreciate each other even more.





We've purchased a marker, but it won't be ready until November or December. We also sent Amanda's favorite boots out to be bronzed. We will attach one to her marker when they are ready.

To say our relationship with Cody is strained would be an understatement. I made several despicable assertions toward him in a phone conversation, after he decided he would keep Amanda's dog , rather than return her to us, as we expected. I've since apologized, but haven't heard from him in regards to it all. I guess he's still mad at me. I've forgiven him about the Kandy thing. She's very old and when she passes, it will be another loss he has to contend with. God help him.

We want the best for Cody. We know he's hurting. We want him to find love, marry, have children and live a wonderful life. He's being stunted, right now, by certain elements in his life that won't let him be a grown man. Please join us in praying for him. Love, life, joy, freedom.

We really miss Amanda, and can hardly wait to see her again. She was our daughter for 22 years, and her illness made us have a special bond that most parents never have the privilege knowing. When we fought Cystic Fibrosis, we fought it together. When someone treated Amanda badly, we grieved the situation with her. When she triumphed, we all did. When she hurt, we hurt. When she found joy, we found it too. We had a special relationship and she told us we were her best friends. We are so happy she came to us in our dreams, and we're happy we got to spend that time with her. It was like being with her in the same place again. We love her and we know she loves us.

I'll try to post a little more often, sorry for my absence.